enzo

Dreading the day

because I would be reminded

and I want to run in the other direction 

have everything go back to that feeling

its not something that can be gotten from somewhere else

its in that moment ...with that one..it feels like a fantasy or rather

a dream come true that I had permission not to wake up from

but now Im up

they opened my eyes 

now I am being pushed

placed on the conveyor belt

trapped

by wake-up-to-reality words, thoughts, actions

Im still not ready, why do I have to go...

I wish what I knew was the truth, ..

just wasn't

I'll be reminded that its no longer there

and that moment when I'm aware

it just consumes me

and everything stops


i've come to accept that
life does what it wants
you never really know what you're in for
you're afraid to be happy for so long
cuz it can get taken away from you at any second
or you realize something that was not clear to you before
or you have your heart ripped out right behind your back
from the person you least expect
but then again you know not to raise your hopes
its a cruel world
stop wishing for 
just once 
one time
for it to last
key is not to tell it what to do to you
live, feel ,hide, mourn, accept 
repeat

-Bonnie