21st Birthday

I read the birthday card yesterday

That probably explains why i dreamt twice about you...one good and one bad

It reminded me if the time where it was all good and it was all deep and i was very grateful to God..the fun bubble ...

before it burst.

As much as i want to hate you for doing that one thing i knew you'd always do that you denied for so long

I can't

Because you helped me know what to not settle for

And times like that i wish she didnt exist because no one yet meets the standard you set...in terms of the  good things you did

Which is why it sucks

I cant hate you 

And i cant say that i don't know what being in love is like because of that very reason

Most of what i feel is anger

Mainly for the monthly anxiety attacks rooted from the incident and how its affecting my future healing

But im trying to control it because i know eventually life repays what is sown so why bother