ignorance is bliss

you never wanted to tell him. You knew how he felt. She knew how you felt about him , you knew how much you didn't want to let it out. but yet she told him. They say secrets consume you, sometimes keeping them is so much better than letting it out. It'll get better with time? no . it wont will it?  maybe for some but perhaps not if you cant let it go for other reasons.

The worst part is not being able to keep your distance because hes ur friend and you really like him as a friend. how do you get over something while keeping it with u...

What are you so afraid of?.. you can give but you cannot take love. He knows now and confirmed your suspicions. Doesn't take away how you feel.. just tells u there's a wall finally built called 'what will never happen' on the road of  what you wish would happen.

First guy friend. gone .  no idea how to go back.  you don't want to. Just kinda wanna hide in a hole and never come out.. childish definitely.. but that's how much it hurts.

Not saying anything was your way of keeping both of you happy. Letting him go after what he really wants and you remaining in silence for the best. Nothing would have to change. But now its inevitable its all you would think about.

You hope the pain goes away. Writing was the only way to get it out even if it doesnt make sense to anyone else. just needed to get it out..and move on.